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Miami Food Guide

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I know that there are other guides, you can check Yelp, Zagat, or whatever, but thats not much fun is it? Often times, a list from a friend or source with similar cravings helps a lot… So we’ve decided to launch Conscience Coupable Eats. Now, I’m not calling us professionals, quite the contrary actually, but who wants to eat what those fancy pants are recommending, right? Ok, I often do, but thats besides the point. This guide is better as it was curated just for you, my little chickens! This is in no way a comprehensive list, it’s just what has evolved over many visits into a star filled google map, lists, and recommendations, to our favourite places to binge eat at. There are so many more we would have loved to include, but like iTunes, let’s call this the Miami “Essentials”, “Deep Cuts” will be for next time.

My greedy taste buds and teenage boy appetite are lucky to have been able to enjoy these incredible establishments. From delicious delicacies, to casual eats, there’s a little something for every occasion, price point, and taste here. Props to my better half, for documenting our favourite spots and taking some drool inducing images while I stuffed my face. No really, you might catch me in the background of some of these. You know that feeling of pure joy that comes over you when you see your waiter coming towards you with what looks like your food order. Do you have any idea the patience necessary to watch your husband photograph the food you’ve been anticipating all day, as it’s aroma intoxicates your entire being! It’s enough to consider trial separation. Ok maybe not, but snarky comments were definitely fired from my corner. That’s right kids I do it all for you…We look forward to growing this first list as we visit new spots and cannot wait to share our culinary adventures with all of you!

Feel free share where you binge eat, by sending us an email with your favourite spots! We’ll try and check them out the next time we’re in your neck of the woods!

Best Japanese Next Door

Makoto (Bal Harbour Shops, 9700 Collins Ave-$$$) – So, this is our favourite neighbourhood joint. I love it, my mom loves it, even my steakhouse aficionado father is a fan. You can go three times in a row and always have a different yummy experience. Robata, sushi, carboload on fried rice and noodles, or maybe a kobe beef steak, doesn’t matter, its all good.  Also it is located in Bal Harbour shops, so if you’re looking for some post food shopping cardio, you’re in the right place.

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I could literally live off these. – Shishito Pepper with bonito flakes

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Hand roll love

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Sooo worth the risk of mercury poisoning 

Best Pizza…and Wings…and Everything

Harry’s Pizzeria (3918 North Miami Avenue-$$)  – If I want to make the hubby and my tummy happy this is where I go for lunch. The fact that this establishment is so unpretentious and nonchalant about how fucking good the food is, is one of the reasons I love the place. I was introduced to polenta fries here, and haven’t been the same since. Their wood oven pizza and small bites kind of make my heart skip a beat. Make sure to put their hot sauce on everything while you’re there, and never leave without having the cookie for dessert. Trust me…

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The best wood fired wings the universe, and I’m pretty sure I’ve drank that sauce before.

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Polenta fries – we order two orders so Peter doesn’t lose a hand.

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Pizza – Here’s a tip, always go for the daily special, and add short rib as a topping, hasn’t failed me yet. 

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When you can’t just get the special, just order it all…pizza is better the next day anyways.

Best Chef Recommendation

The Federal Food, Drink & Provisions (5132 Biscayne Boulevard -$$) – Thanks to our favourite chef, Danny Smiles, we always have a few places we need to try ‘while we’re away’. This might be our new favourite go-to restaurant in Miami, as they certainly know how to turn good ingredients into incredible dishes! Everything we tried was like nothing we had eaten before, and they had the most glorious giant biscuit I’ve ever laid my eyes (and mouth) upon! We cannot wait to get back, as their brunch is apparently ridiculous. Also, they have an all you can drink lunch option, which I bet I’ll find very appealing…

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 Jar o’Duck – winter spiced duck rillette, sweet potatoes, and marshmallow fluff. – It’s like Thanksgiving all year ’round!

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We literally fought for the last bite of this grilled avocado and quinoa.

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Dirty noodles.

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My downfall. Jumbo buttermilk biscuit.

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May cause Jessica Simpson moments – Pork chicken wing with blue cheese.

Best Junk Food

Shake Shack (1111 Lincoln Rd – Multiple Locations- $) – Yes, I know, Shake Shack is from New York not Miami, but this wonderfully healthy snack is a staple for us here, on hungover mornings and movie nights. There are a few places that we might argue have the best “fast” burger in the U.S.A., and this one definitely makes the top 5. The buns are soft on the outside, flat top grilled inside, and their patties are hormone and antibiotic free. Always go for the Shack Burger, fries, and share a Shack-cago dog for good measure. Also getting extra Shack sauce to dip everything in, is never a bad idea.

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“Shack burgers, shack sauce, shack-cago-dog, shack yes.” – Peter wrote this and it’s too cute to fuck with

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We always get an extra burger, just in case.

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Shack Beer – More libations!

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Here comes a craving… 

Best Robata

Zuma (270 Biscayne Blvd Way- $$$$) – I would argue this is the best robata we’ve ever had. Some of our favourites include the steak, the chicken wings, and the back ribs. Guess we were really into meat that day, but the veggies are also yummy. My personal favourite is the rice hot pot, with some added fresh truffles. This place is good here, its good in NYC, its good in London, and never disappoints.

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Where the magic happens…that line sounds pervy, even when talking about food.

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I hate salad, but I love this- avocado & asparagus salad, with lemon honey dressing.

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My favourite -the rice hot pot with wild mushrooms

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Peter’s favourite – glazed baby back ribs 

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I ate this entire steak, so fast Peter, barely got a bite. Neither did my parents…

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My favourite dessert in miami! – green tea and banana cake with coconut ice cream and toffee sauce

Best Brunch

Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink (130NE 40th Street-$$$) – Innovative. Every time we come here we’re surprised with what we eat. Many ideas we have about food originate here.  Must haves include, everything on their snack menu, especially, the chips and fried hominy. Also the desserts are fucking bananas, so make sure to save a wittle space.  On this trip, we went for Sunday’s brunch… and I think its one of the best we’ve ever had.

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The shnacks… 

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This was my fave! -Cheddar & chive biscuit with maple breakfast sausage

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Wait I really loved this too- Duck confit hash with parsley aioli

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No THIS was the best!- Kimchi benedict with crispy pork belly.

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Call me a food polygamist, cuz I be in love with all the dishes I tried.- Poppy seed palmiers to finish

Best Cubano

Enriqueta’s Sandwich Shop (186 NE 29th Street, Wynwood- $) – We know there is a ton of Japanese fusion restaurants on this list but you can’t do Miami, without a great Cuban joint. This is a classic, family run, been-here-forever-we-know-whats-good type of place. The cubano sandwich, obviously, is bar none. Crunchy, supple and delicious…the best we’ve had in the city. Do like the locals and order a cafecito. It will have you bouncing off the walls in no time!

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Window food is the best food..

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Cafecito – not for the faint hearted

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Stacks on stacks! The steak is garlicky and delicious.

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Don’t you dare leave Miami without trying one of these. 

Best on Lincoln Road

Sushi Samba (600 Lincoln Road-$$$) – If we’re around Lincoln, looking for something that isn’t Shake Shack, this is our go to. Like Ocean Ave, Lincoln road food, is a bit of a sketchy operation, so choosing wisely is key. The crispy taquitos are still our favourite raw fish tacos, and are usually the craving that keeps us coming back for more. They also have all the usual suspects, from gyoza, to rock shrimp tempura. Also if you’re creepy like me, it’s a lovely place to people watch on Lincoln Road.

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The taquitos, we fight for these. That spicy sauce is crack to me.

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My favourite Wagyu gyoza in the city. 

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A staple of every Miami Japanese fusion restaurant- Rock shrimp tempura with fresh peas and pea shoots. 

Best Spaghetti 

Scarpetta (4441 Collins Avenue, Fontainebleau-$$$) – The Fountainbleau was once my parents favourite hangout and hotel. I also spent a fair share of time there myself, throughout my childhood and a little later for Liv on Sundays. We now come here for one reason and one reason alone. The spaghetti. It is absolutely incredible, and its simplicity is perfection. The pasta is thick and housemade, the sauce delicious, and herbed with fresh basil. I’ve made it a habit of ordering two, one for now and one for later.

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A proper old fashioned, because my husband is Don Draper

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Housemade agnolotti is good but it doesn’t compare to…

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The spaghetti. I could cry just looking at it. 

Best Iconic Joint

Joe’s Stone Crab (11 Washington Avenue-$$$) – It’s been a Miami favourite for a hundred years, and for good reason. They know how to cook you some stone crab, or some king crab if like me, that’s what you’re into. For the full experience, I would recommend an order of both to share. Oh and don’t cheap out on sides, because hash browns and crab are a match made in heaven.  If you don’t want to wait a couple hours to eat, plan to go during during the week, or lunch even. On the other hand if you are into getting wasted prior to dinner, that 2 hour wait at the bar might be just what you are looking for!

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The pretzel croissant thing is worth a mention, or in my case, another visit.

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Hers: Alaskan hot grilled king crab.

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His: Cold stone crab.

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All I want to eat these days.

Best Dranks

Cecconi’s (Soho Beach House, 4385 Collins Avenue-$$$) – Seriously this Bloody Mary can overcome any hangover! Their Eastern Standard is also my favourite cocktail in Miami! We come here to carboload on the good stuff — housemade pasta, pizza and other Italian/american classics. With it’s twinkle light, fairytale setting, the ambience is beautiful in the evenings, but also super charming in the daytime for Brunch on Sundays. Due to all of its intriguing trendy visitors, the Soho Beach House is also not a bad place to get drunk and make new friends.

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A Bloody Mary that even a Canadian Caesar connoiseur can enjoy.

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We’re both fiends for fresh focaccia with great Sicilian olive oil, but “don’t fill up on the bread”  as my father says. I don’t listen. 

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Taking these above photos sucks so bad. You look like such an idiot, but hey, my insta followers get what my insta followers want. Also this spread was amazeballs…get it? 

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Margherita is a simple lass, but boy do we enjoy her.

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We barely walked out of here – branzino, lobster pasta, veal, and lamb cavatelli.

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Maman’s fave

Best for Lunches and Late Nights

La Sandwicherie (229 14th St-$) – It’s cute, unpretentious, and delicious. Perfect if you are spending the day on the beach, and want a glorious sandwich for lunch. If you have an issue with making decisions like I do, take a second prior to arrival to review all your options, because these frenchies work fast! Don’t be scared to try the crazy stuff as it’s all real good. It’s also real big, so make sure your gob is prepared.

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Counter eating is synonymous with Miami living.

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One of the few french bread sandwiches you’ll find in Miami. Hurts the top of my mouth, but tastes so good.

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Ham and cheese on a croissant, because my mother is boring and won’t try new things.

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Peter’s fruity manwhich: Tropical with added prosciutto, and a fresh carrot ginger juice.

Best Of All Time

Nobu (Eden Rock Hotel, 4525 Collins Avenue-$$$$) – Nobu is my favourite restaurant in the entire universe, and their Miami location was my introduction to the chain. It is also the first place I ever had the courage to eat raw fish, and fell in love with sushi. I later took Peter to their uptown New York location, and had another Nobu junkie on my hands. Chef Nobu’s cuisine has a way of bringing out the best in every fish and conditioning the american palette to not so traditional Japanese-Peruvian fusion fare. The location in South Beach is brand spankin’ new, beautiful, and the fish stellar.

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Dessert sake is a dangerous drink. I actually prefer the pineapple flavour!..oh and I lied this is my favourite miami cocktail.

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Yellowtail Jalapeño – Often emulated, never replicated. For all you afraid to eat raw fish, just try it, this is a gateway sushi. 

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Crispy Okra with arare and spicy tosazu. Fuck edamame this is what you want.

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Red snapper butter lettuce, my new absolute fave.

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Our favourite assortment of house specialty sushi and hand rolls.

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Chef preparing a couple of extra pieces. Here’s a tip: Stop eating! It never hits you until you’ve had too much.

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Golden truffle sushi, for ones with expensive taste

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The first place I ever tasted lava cake, and it’s still undefeated. Served with green tea ice cream with a sesame crisp.

My husband, has a thing for cool caffeine joints, while I don’t drink coffee because it gives me major anxiety. I thought I’d let him pick one place per city to recommend, if like him, you like your coffee a little pretentious. Ain’t nothing wrong with fancy coffee, as long as you don’t make me drink it. No really, it’ll make me freak out all day.    

Peter’s Coffee Pick

Panther Coffee (1875 Purdy Ave – Multiple locations- $) – Small batch speciality house roasted beans. There is a plethora of international coffee places where you may be interested in navigating latin coffee culture. Personally, I like my coffee shops americanized, with people on laptops, and cold brew with a bang.

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The location in South Beach

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Cold brew

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Chill place, great coffee.

$$$ Legend   $-“That was so inexpensive!”    $$-“That wasn’t too bad.”    $$$- “Well that’s a little pricey.”     $$$$- “We were planning on selling our first born anyway, right!”

Get a vibe of where this all started VINTAGE CC

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