guilty conscience fashion blog

alexander mcqueen

Husband Repeller

2015-05-24 at 17-52-17 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

Ya….so my husband didn’t care for this outfit. That’s pretty much the premise of this post. He made a little joke about what I was wearing on our last night in Turks & Caicos, that didn’t sit well.  I was surprised to even get a comment out of him, because he understood early in our relationship that a slightly negative, or even neutral opinion as far as what I’m wearing is concerned, could literally turn any evening into Def-Con 4. Seriously, like if he looks at me after I’ve changed, and I don’t get a “that’s cute” or “you look beautiful,” I start questioning everything. Its like the 4 stages of outfit rejection.  First theres the I don’t care what you think moment, basically the “you’re  such a dick” exchange. Followed by low self-esteem and questioning, the “do I look like a dick in this outfit?”. Then you have the anxiety, this is the part when you start sweating as your body temperature rises from anger/panic, and finally the full mental break down. You can easily spot this part as it involves literally trying everything in your closet in a fit of rage, while swearing at your loved one, and making a huge fucking mess. Long sleeve/long pants combo, red hot sunburn, and tropical temperature… ya, the sweating portion of the 3rd anxiety stage was hitting me really hard when we shot this little number. Who knew one could look so zen, when about to declare war on a perfectly nice evening? 2015-05-24 at 17-49-47 2015-05-24 at 17-51-21 2015-05-24 at 18-21-10 2015-05-24 at 17-53-10 2015-05-24 at 17-54-14 2015-05-24 at 17-55-06 2015-05-24 at 17-53-02 2015-05-24 at 17-57-28 2015-05-24 at 17-52-36 Just wanted to look like I knew how to meditate

Christian Dior earrings, Nasty Gal necklace and rings, H&M shirt and pants, Chanel bag, and Alexander McQueen sandals.

Chubby

2015-05-24 at 11-00-54 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

My Grandma called me chubby yesterday. Not as an insult, but as a kind of loving remark as she embraced me goodbye. It sucked. I’ve always prided myself, on being the girl that doesn’t order the salad at the restaurant, that can’t contribute to the conversations about spinning or whatever the fuck the next fitness trend is, by being the one that just doesn’t care. Still, my positive body image wasn’t strong enough to take a comment from my sweet elderly relative. On the ride home, I began to wonder what people saw when they looked at me, and if their perception different from my own? I kept showing my mother images of girls asking “is she chubby?”, “how about her?”, forming some sort of scale and placing my recently discovered stats within her answers. Even though comparing yourself to others, I know is never the answer. Was I so oblivious, that I was the last one to find out I was fat by society’s standards? That was my fear, even though I wanted so badly not to give a shit.

I always tread a fine line between embracing my body and the freedom that entails (CHEESEBURGERS), and the desire to be disciplined and healthy, to wear what I want every morning because fat days simply wouldn’t exist. But which is more important, my integrity or my health? Also don’t get me wrong, staying healthy is a priority, but juicing is rarely used with that as a motive if you catch my drift. Health is the alibi, but skinny culture is the true motivation. So what does a girl do? Shrug off the “chubby” comment, order pizza and call it a day, or finish writing this post grab some cereal and go run 3 miles?  Does loving oneself, mean allowing yourself everything, or allowing yourself what is probably best for you? I wish I could end this post with a definite answer, with a pizza or cereal, but I can’t. Today I am leaning towards discipline and that has everything to do with my grandma’s comment even though I wish it didn’t. I will be an anarchist of skinny culture that conforms for her own health and happiness, and that is ok. Here’s is the truth, no matter your size, there will always be sweet grandmas or judgemental assholes who will give you their 2 cents about the way you look. I guess the answer really is doing what makes you happiest, not what you believe is pleasing others. That goes for all of you juicers and cheeseburger eaters out there. This way the next time someone calls you chubby you won’t pretend you don’t care, you truly won’t give a fuck. On that note, here are some semi-clothed pictures of me! Ironic or perfectly fitting, I’m not sure, but I guess either way it makes sense. 2015-05-24 at 11-04-06 2015-05-24 at 10-59-23 2015-05-24 at 11-05-30 2015-05-24 at 11-00-19 2015-05-24 at 11-02-09 2015-05-24 at 11-05-49 2015-05-24 at 11-01-29 2015-05-24 at 11-03-10 2015-05-24 at 10-58-07 That was way more serious then intended

Ecua-Andino Panama hat, Alexander McQueen scarf, Ray Ban Clubmasters, H&M kimono, Victoria’s Secret bathing suit, Aurelie Bidermann cuff, Rag & Bone shorts, and Hermes sandals.

Versace Versace

2015-03-20 at 20-28-53 Montreal, Canada

Hey friends. Forgive me my absences on your newsfeeds for the past week, you see it was all to serve a greater purpose…my higher education. Ya, it’s finals time ya’ll, and let me tell you, this McGill business sure likes to keep me busy! A few weeks ago we pulled a “Claude circa 2008” move and went out…to a club. I know crazy, right? This was’t any club you see, I’m talking Buonanotte, our old stomping grounds, the place that had witnessed me making one too many bad decisions in the past…and boy was it a good time! Grandma over here, ate too many carbs,  danced all night, and might of even got up on a couch or two. It’s crazy, time might have gone by, but this place is hasn’t lost its relevance. It is the same great music, people, and vibe, that had me going there every weekend, to later have the best stories to recount from my nights out. It truly is a staple in our city and I’m glad to see it’s still kicking butt! The evening was a gold themed Moet & Chandon event, therefore, I couldn’t help but wear the king of not so subtle prints and metallics, and pull out some vintage Gianni Versace. I mean if your going to do gold…do it right, right? The dress itself is actually from Versace’s collaboration with H&M a couple years back, and I had finally found an occasion to yank it out of my closet. Oh, and here’s a tip, next time you go out, do it in combat boots…really brings up the whole “comfort/kick ass” factor.

Hair & Make up by the Illustrious Leslie Ann Thomson 2015-03-20 at 20-26-20 2015-03-20 at 20-25-28 2015-03-20 at 20-23-52 2015-03-20 at 20-28-02 2015-03-20 at 20-27-45 2015-03-20 at 20-25-37 2015-03-20 at 20-29-13 2015-03-20 at 20-29-09 2015-03-20 at 20-25-17 2015-03-20 at 20-27-16 Medusa head on me like I’m ‘Luminati

Dior earrings, Versace x HM dress, vintage Versace belt and combat boots, Cartier & Dodo bracelets, Alexander McQueen ring, and Chanel bag.

The Blackprint, Suck it Nicki and Jay

2014-12-15 at 19-42-54 Miami, Florida

I feel awfully mature for a one year old, let me tell ya! That being said this post birthday week has been somewhat uneventful in a good, responsibility-less kind of way. We are back in Montreal, as we will be spending the holidays at home, so I am totally relishing the fact that I will be freezing my balls off shooting my Christmas #OOTDs…whoopty do! Until all the fun festive fashion arrives, I give you a mildly slutty two piece outfit that would definitely not enjoy the weather here in fucking Winterfell. The winter has come my pretties, so I am staying nice and toasty under my comforter. Starting to get cabin fever…isn’t this time of year just magical… 2014-12-15 at 19-39-19 2014-12-15 at 19-39-59 2014-12-15 at 19-36-22 2014-12-15 at 19-33-57 2014-12-15 at 19-38-05 2014-12-15 at 19-47-51 2014-12-15 at 19-44-59 2014-12-15 at 19-46-56 2014-12-15 at 19-32-01 2014-12-15 at 19-45-50 2014-12-15 at 19-33-16 Like Black Widow BAYBAY

Chopard necklace, Alexander Wang for H&M crop top, Cartier and Paula Mendoza bracelets, Alexander McQueen clutch (similar), Nasty Gal maxi skirt (similar), and Shoe Cult flats (similar).