Happy International Women’s day to all the wonderful readers and supporters that have allowed be to pursue my dreams these past years. Let’s be real, the vast majority of you are girls, women, and some of you are a little in between just like me. It’s thanks to you that I have been able to live through my passions and do what a love everyday and for that I’m eternally thankful. I’ve been thinking lately, why have these narratives pinning women against one another existed since the beginning of time. Are we to blame?..and I came to the conclusion that maybe we are a little, sometimes even without realizing it.
I realize supporting another woman’s success isn’t always easy. Even I, who preaches girl power, equality, and feminism every chance I get, have had those negative thoughts and feelings before. When seeing someone in the same field achieve more than you, getting an opportunity you wished you were given, or even following a path you wished you’d taken, it’s hard sometimes not to ask “why not me,” “I’m just as good,” “just as talented,” maybe even “a better fit”. So why should I celebrate her accomplishment when I wish they were my own…and that ladies is where we’ve been getting it wrong all along. I realize jealousy is a part of our emotional repertoire as humans, but I also know that life is all about perspective. Perhaps you can’t change those feelings and thoughts, but you can change the way you look at them. Someone else’s success means yours is achievable and isn’t as far away as you’d have thought. Someone finally accomplishing the impossible makes it possible, and someone doing it first, paves the way for you to accomplish just as much if not more.
It’s all about what we choose to put out in the universe. Negativity, hate, and all those mean and passive aggressive internet comments we know all too well, truly bring nothing to our journeys, besides maybe a little fire within those who it is directed towards. So why waste the time, the energy, the space, if you can help it. Why let envy leave a stain on your emotional make-up, when you could be doing you, persevering, and finding your way into the other’s shoes.
One lesson I learned early on is Always Love. As simple as it sounds, it’s never failed me. Be proud of the people around you that are working hard making their dreams come true, and celebrate when they finally make them happen, especially women. It’s become no secret when reflecting on the history of our world even to this very day, that these accomplishments require more work and dedication out of us girls, than the other sex will ever know. We must conquer obstacles they’ll probably never be made aware of, let alone face. When women support each other, INCREDIBLE things happen. The bond between us is so powerful, and it is so important for it to be recognized, heard, and celebrated. So next time you feel anger or a little blue when one of us “makes it” somewhere you wish you were, remember all she’s been through to get there, know she’s deserving, and commend her. After all, she’s your ally in the world domination effort that’s already well underway…
Adam Selman for Le Specs glasses, Forever 21 bodysuit, Christopher Raeburn backpack, Adidas track pants, and Gucci dad sneakers.