guilty conscience fashion blog

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Chubby

2015-05-24 at 11-00-54 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

My Grandma called me chubby yesterday. Not as an insult, but as a kind of loving remark as she embraced me goodbye. It sucked. I’ve always prided myself, on being the girl that doesn’t order the salad at the restaurant, that can’t contribute to the conversations about spinning or whatever the fuck the next fitness trend is, by being the one that just doesn’t care. Still, my positive body image wasn’t strong enough to take a comment from my sweet elderly relative. On the ride home, I began to wonder what people saw when they looked at me, and if their perception different from my own? I kept showing my mother images of girls asking “is she chubby?”, “how about her?”, forming some sort of scale and placing my recently discovered stats within her answers. Even though comparing yourself to others, I know is never the answer. Was I so oblivious, that I was the last one to find out I was fat by society’s standards? That was my fear, even though I wanted so badly not to give a shit.

I always tread a fine line between embracing my body and the freedom that entails (CHEESEBURGERS), and the desire to be disciplined and healthy, to wear what I want every morning because fat days simply wouldn’t exist. But which is more important, my integrity or my health? Also don’t get me wrong, staying healthy is a priority, but juicing is rarely used with that as a motive if you catch my drift. Health is the alibi, but skinny culture is the true motivation. So what does a girl do? Shrug off the “chubby” comment, order pizza and call it a day, or finish writing this post grab some cereal and go run 3 miles?  Does loving oneself, mean allowing yourself everything, or allowing yourself what is probably best for you? I wish I could end this post with a definite answer, with a pizza or cereal, but I can’t. Today I am leaning towards discipline and that has everything to do with my grandma’s comment even though I wish it didn’t. I will be an anarchist of skinny culture that conforms for her own health and happiness, and that is ok. Here’s is the truth, no matter your size, there will always be sweet grandmas or judgemental assholes who will give you their 2 cents about the way you look. I guess the answer really is doing what makes you happiest, not what you believe is pleasing others. That goes for all of you juicers and cheeseburger eaters out there. This way the next time someone calls you chubby you won’t pretend you don’t care, you truly won’t give a fuck. On that note, here are some semi-clothed pictures of me! Ironic or perfectly fitting, I’m not sure, but I guess either way it makes sense. 2015-05-24 at 11-04-06 2015-05-24 at 10-59-23 2015-05-24 at 11-05-30 2015-05-24 at 11-00-19 2015-05-24 at 11-02-09 2015-05-24 at 11-05-49 2015-05-24 at 11-01-29 2015-05-24 at 11-03-10 2015-05-24 at 10-58-07 That was way more serious then intended

Ecua-Andino Panama hat, Alexander McQueen scarf, Ray Ban Clubmasters, H&M kimono, Victoria’s Secret bathing suit, Aurelie Bidermann cuff, Rag & Bone shorts, and Hermes sandals.

Whiny Summer

2015-05-22 at 10-10-48 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

This month has been absolute chaos…and by chaos I mean like really really busy! Summer vacation is never really a vacation is it? It was the shit in the sixth grade, now even when I think i’m taking time off, life has a funny way of filling up my schedule with grown up problems. Now let’s get back on topic…before I started to complain about how busy I’ve been, I did actually go on vacation. JESUS am I the fussiest individual over the age of 3 or what. These images were captured while on our one year anniversary trip in turks. As you have most probably noticed, this was pretty early on in the trip as I am pale as fuck. This mini #OOTD shoot was a bit of a complete fucking mess. Goldilocks style, I like to call it. First it was too bright, then too humid, and then well…good thing I was wearing a bathing suit. 2015-05-22 at 10-06-15 2015-05-22 at 10-06-37 2015-05-22 at 10-07-48 2015-05-22 at 10-07-25 2015-05-22 at 10-12-39 2015-05-22 at 10-09-57 2015-05-22 at 10-12-28 2015-05-22 at 10-10-51 2015-05-22 at 10-02-51 2015-05-22 at 10-23-08 Got Wet

Ecua-Andino panama hat, Cartier aviators, bracelets and watch, H&M and Givenchy necklaces, Apiece Apart off the shoulder top, Missoni bikini, Nadia Safti shorts,  and Chanel bag and sandals.

 

Keep It 100

2015-05-21 at 17-05-26 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

100 #OOTD posts…holy fuck balls. Feels like a lot doesn’t it. We shot this 100th getup during our one year wedding anniversary trip on the very same island where we spoke our I Dos…but I’m not going to bore you with gushy romantic details today. I wanted to to take this opportunity  to truly thank every single one of you that have visited this page, who took time out of your day to read my rantings, to look at my husband’s awesome photog skills, those who signed up for our newsletter, and even shared CC with your friends. A lot of effort and heart goes into every word, frame, and piece of clothing paired with another, so I truly thank you for your continued support and kind words. It isn’t always easy to find the time to create content and share it with you guys , but man do you make it feel worth while when you tell me you love the blog. So thank you…for these amazing 100, and hopefully with you onboard, we will continue share our adventures with 100 more. I facking love the shit out of all of you. 2015-05-21 at 17-09-35 2015-05-21 at 17-22-17 2015-05-21 at 17-24-45 2015-05-21 at 17-14-07 2015-05-21 at 17-02-22 2015-05-21 at 17-16-27 2015-05-21 at 17-21-20 2015-05-21 at 17-25-40 2015-05-21 at 17-26-54 2015-05-21 at 17-02-06 2015-05-21 at 17-19-13 2015-05-21 at 17-21-23 Sweaty and Sunburnt

Ecua-Andino hat, H&M necklaces, Zara jacket, blouse, and shorts, Chloé wedges, and Chanel bag.

Goodbye Coachella

2015-04-19 at 19-39-37 Indio, California

How am I still on Coachella…I know guys, I know. What can I say, I packed one too many #OOTDs for a weekend. We headed back to the festival in the middle of a sandstorm (explains the paisley accessories) around 5 for a beautiful dinner in the Rose Garden. Though it was all kinds of delish and we made some interesting new friends at the communal table, I hoovered all the drinks and food I could keep down as fast as possible so I could catch the end of Ryan Adams‘ set. We then met up with some friends to watch what ended up being the highlight of the trip; Stromae. I’m not one to stick myself in the middle of a huge crowd to get trampled by drunk strangers, but man am I glad I made an exception this time. He was just…wow. My favourite Belgian even did a little dance with his buddy Kanye which was pretty cute to witness, though I was kinda disappointed Mr. West didn’t sing a verse from his remix of Alors On Danse. We were still listening to Stromae’s Racine Carrée’s on our road trip to Disney World, which caused my mother to become an instant fan. She now insists we blast Formidable on repeat all around the house 24/7, though she still can’t quite remember his name. Florence and The Machine, the act I was most looking forward to, was next. My favourite fairy had a broken foot due to all the jumping around she did during her set the previous weekend, but it didn’t take any of her magic away.  Finally it was Drake‘s turn to take the stage, and my turn to jam a little too hard and make people around me uncomfortable. A perfect close to a perfect weekend. 2015-04-19 at 19-39-53 2015-04-19 at 19-40-55 2015-04-19 at 19-41-34 2015-04-19 at 19-40-59 2015-04-19 at 19-40-05 2015-04-19 at 19-40-23 2015-04-19 at 19-40-58 2015-04-19 at 19-41-11 2015-04-19 at 17-44-22 2015-04-19 at 17-44-06 2015-04-19 at 19-24-31 2015-04-19 at 21-48-35 2015-04-19 at 18-04-43 2015-04-19 at 22-15-59 2015-04-19 at 22-10-45 2015-04-19 at 22-16-21 2015-04-19 at 22-57-37 2015-04-19 at 22-57-49 2015-04-20 at 00-19-27 2015-04-19 at 22-58-17 2015-04-20 at 00-15-53 2015-04-19 at 19-39-28 Midnight Cowboy

Janelle boater hat, vintage Gianfranco Ferré sunnies, H&M necklaces, Nasty Gal dress and rings (similar), Cartier, Links of London, and Hermes bracelets, Chanel fanny pack, and Acne “Pistol” boots.