guilty conscience fashion blog

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Husband Repeller

2015-05-24 at 17-52-17 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

Ya….so my husband didn’t care for this outfit. That’s pretty much the premise of this post. He made a little joke about what I was wearing on our last night in Turks & Caicos, that didn’t sit well.  I was surprised to even get a comment out of him, because he understood early in our relationship that a slightly negative, or even neutral opinion as far as what I’m wearing is concerned, could literally turn any evening into Def-Con 4. Seriously, like if he looks at me after I’ve changed, and I don’t get a “that’s cute” or “you look beautiful,” I start questioning everything. Its like the 4 stages of outfit rejection.  First theres the I don’t care what you think moment, basically the “you’re  such a dick” exchange. Followed by low self-esteem and questioning, the “do I look like a dick in this outfit?”. Then you have the anxiety, this is the part when you start sweating as your body temperature rises from anger/panic, and finally the full mental break down. You can easily spot this part as it involves literally trying everything in your closet in a fit of rage, while swearing at your loved one, and making a huge fucking mess. Long sleeve/long pants combo, red hot sunburn, and tropical temperature… ya, the sweating portion of the 3rd anxiety stage was hitting me really hard when we shot this little number. Who knew one could look so zen, when about to declare war on a perfectly nice evening? 2015-05-24 at 17-49-47 2015-05-24 at 17-51-21 2015-05-24 at 18-21-10 2015-05-24 at 17-53-10 2015-05-24 at 17-54-14 2015-05-24 at 17-55-06 2015-05-24 at 17-53-02 2015-05-24 at 17-57-28 2015-05-24 at 17-52-36 Just wanted to look like I knew how to meditate

Christian Dior earrings, Nasty Gal necklace and rings, H&M shirt and pants, Chanel bag, and Alexander McQueen sandals.

Chubby

2015-05-24 at 11-00-54 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

My Grandma called me chubby yesterday. Not as an insult, but as a kind of loving remark as she embraced me goodbye. It sucked. I’ve always prided myself, on being the girl that doesn’t order the salad at the restaurant, that can’t contribute to the conversations about spinning or whatever the fuck the next fitness trend is, by being the one that just doesn’t care. Still, my positive body image wasn’t strong enough to take a comment from my sweet elderly relative. On the ride home, I began to wonder what people saw when they looked at me, and if their perception different from my own? I kept showing my mother images of girls asking “is she chubby?”, “how about her?”, forming some sort of scale and placing my recently discovered stats within her answers. Even though comparing yourself to others, I know is never the answer. Was I so oblivious, that I was the last one to find out I was fat by society’s standards? That was my fear, even though I wanted so badly not to give a shit.

I always tread a fine line between embracing my body and the freedom that entails (CHEESEBURGERS), and the desire to be disciplined and healthy, to wear what I want every morning because fat days simply wouldn’t exist. But which is more important, my integrity or my health? Also don’t get me wrong, staying healthy is a priority, but juicing is rarely used with that as a motive if you catch my drift. Health is the alibi, but skinny culture is the true motivation. So what does a girl do? Shrug off the “chubby” comment, order pizza and call it a day, or finish writing this post grab some cereal and go run 3 miles?  Does loving oneself, mean allowing yourself everything, or allowing yourself what is probably best for you? I wish I could end this post with a definite answer, with a pizza or cereal, but I can’t. Today I am leaning towards discipline and that has everything to do with my grandma’s comment even though I wish it didn’t. I will be an anarchist of skinny culture that conforms for her own health and happiness, and that is ok. Here’s is the truth, no matter your size, there will always be sweet grandmas or judgemental assholes who will give you their 2 cents about the way you look. I guess the answer really is doing what makes you happiest, not what you believe is pleasing others. That goes for all of you juicers and cheeseburger eaters out there. This way the next time someone calls you chubby you won’t pretend you don’t care, you truly won’t give a fuck. On that note, here are some semi-clothed pictures of me! Ironic or perfectly fitting, I’m not sure, but I guess either way it makes sense. 2015-05-24 at 11-04-06 2015-05-24 at 10-59-23 2015-05-24 at 11-05-30 2015-05-24 at 11-00-19 2015-05-24 at 11-02-09 2015-05-24 at 11-05-49 2015-05-24 at 11-01-29 2015-05-24 at 11-03-10 2015-05-24 at 10-58-07 That was way more serious then intended

Ecua-Andino Panama hat, Alexander McQueen scarf, Ray Ban Clubmasters, H&M kimono, Victoria’s Secret bathing suit, Aurelie Bidermann cuff, Rag & Bone shorts, and Hermes sandals.

Whiny Summer

2015-05-22 at 10-10-48 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

This month has been absolute chaos…and by chaos I mean like really really busy! Summer vacation is never really a vacation is it? It was the shit in the sixth grade, now even when I think i’m taking time off, life has a funny way of filling up my schedule with grown up problems. Now let’s get back on topic…before I started to complain about how busy I’ve been, I did actually go on vacation. JESUS am I the fussiest individual over the age of 3 or what. These images were captured while on our one year anniversary trip in turks. As you have most probably noticed, this was pretty early on in the trip as I am pale as fuck. This mini #OOTD shoot was a bit of a complete fucking mess. Goldilocks style, I like to call it. First it was too bright, then too humid, and then well…good thing I was wearing a bathing suit. 2015-05-22 at 10-06-15 2015-05-22 at 10-06-37 2015-05-22 at 10-07-48 2015-05-22 at 10-07-25 2015-05-22 at 10-12-39 2015-05-22 at 10-09-57 2015-05-22 at 10-12-28 2015-05-22 at 10-10-51 2015-05-22 at 10-02-51 2015-05-22 at 10-23-08 Got Wet

Ecua-Andino panama hat, Cartier aviators, bracelets and watch, H&M and Givenchy necklaces, Apiece Apart off the shoulder top, Missoni bikini, Nadia Safti shorts,  and Chanel bag and sandals.

 

Keep It 100

2015-05-21 at 17-05-26 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

100 #OOTD posts…holy fuck balls. Feels like a lot doesn’t it. We shot this 100th getup during our one year wedding anniversary trip on the very same island where we spoke our I Dos…but I’m not going to bore you with gushy romantic details today. I wanted to to take this opportunity  to truly thank every single one of you that have visited this page, who took time out of your day to read my rantings, to look at my husband’s awesome photog skills, those who signed up for our newsletter, and even shared CC with your friends. A lot of effort and heart goes into every word, frame, and piece of clothing paired with another, so I truly thank you for your continued support and kind words. It isn’t always easy to find the time to create content and share it with you guys , but man do you make it feel worth while when you tell me you love the blog. So thank you…for these amazing 100, and hopefully with you onboard, we will continue share our adventures with 100 more. I facking love the shit out of all of you. 2015-05-21 at 17-09-35 2015-05-21 at 17-22-17 2015-05-21 at 17-24-45 2015-05-21 at 17-14-07 2015-05-21 at 17-02-22 2015-05-21 at 17-16-27 2015-05-21 at 17-21-20 2015-05-21 at 17-25-40 2015-05-21 at 17-26-54 2015-05-21 at 17-02-06 2015-05-21 at 17-19-13 2015-05-21 at 17-21-23 Sweaty and Sunburnt

Ecua-Andino hat, H&M necklaces, Zara jacket, blouse, and shorts, Chloé wedges, and Chanel bag.