guilty conscience fashion blog

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Chubby

2015-05-24 at 11-00-54 Parrot Cay, Turks & Caicos

My Grandma called me chubby yesterday. Not as an insult, but as a kind of loving remark as she embraced me goodbye. It sucked. I’ve always prided myself, on being the girl that doesn’t order the salad at the restaurant, that can’t contribute to the conversations about spinning or whatever the fuck the next fitness trend is, by being the one that just doesn’t care. Still, my positive body image wasn’t strong enough to take a comment from my sweet elderly relative. On the ride home, I began to wonder what people saw when they looked at me, and if their perception different from my own? I kept showing my mother images of girls asking “is she chubby?”, “how about her?”, forming some sort of scale and placing my recently discovered stats within her answers. Even though comparing yourself to others, I know is never the answer. Was I so oblivious, that I was the last one to find out I was fat by society’s standards? That was my fear, even though I wanted so badly not to give a shit.

I always tread a fine line between embracing my body and the freedom that entails (CHEESEBURGERS), and the desire to be disciplined and healthy, to wear what I want every morning because fat days simply wouldn’t exist. But which is more important, my integrity or my health? Also don’t get me wrong, staying healthy is a priority, but juicing is rarely used with that as a motive if you catch my drift. Health is the alibi, but skinny culture is the true motivation. So what does a girl do? Shrug off the “chubby” comment, order pizza and call it a day, or finish writing this post grab some cereal and go run 3 miles?  Does loving oneself, mean allowing yourself everything, or allowing yourself what is probably best for you? I wish I could end this post with a definite answer, with a pizza or cereal, but I can’t. Today I am leaning towards discipline and that has everything to do with my grandma’s comment even though I wish it didn’t. I will be an anarchist of skinny culture that conforms for her own health and happiness, and that is ok. Here’s is the truth, no matter your size, there will always be sweet grandmas or judgemental assholes who will give you their 2 cents about the way you look. I guess the answer really is doing what makes you happiest, not what you believe is pleasing others. That goes for all of you juicers and cheeseburger eaters out there. This way the next time someone calls you chubby you won’t pretend you don’t care, you truly won’t give a fuck. On that note, here are some semi-clothed pictures of me! Ironic or perfectly fitting, I’m not sure, but I guess either way it makes sense. 2015-05-24 at 11-04-06 2015-05-24 at 10-59-23 2015-05-24 at 11-05-30 2015-05-24 at 11-00-19 2015-05-24 at 11-02-09 2015-05-24 at 11-05-49 2015-05-24 at 11-01-29 2015-05-24 at 11-03-10 2015-05-24 at 10-58-07 That was way more serious then intended

Ecua-Andino Panama hat, Alexander McQueen scarf, Ray Ban Clubmasters, H&M kimono, Victoria’s Secret bathing suit, Aurelie Bidermann cuff, Rag & Bone shorts, and Hermes sandals.

National Lampoon Worthy Vacation

2015-05-18 at 16-05-15 Miami, Florida

Happy weekend everyone! Peter and I have been on a prolonged vacation with the family and it has been all kinds of relaxing. Seriously, I’m so relaxed right now I am barely stressing about the fact that I am almost done my Masters diploma and still don’t have any job prospects…Oh, I spoke too fast, there it is again. Expectations are fun! All jokes aside it has been so good for us to spend some time with my parents, watch tons of Amy Schumer, and get really tanned and fat from our days’ anticipation revolving around our next meal. As much as I drink that green juice in the morning and go for that run…it still doesn’t outweigh the mountain of carbs sitting in my stomach being converted to fat. Is that even how that works? I failed bio in high school…I think that’s the class where we covered digestion. Anyways, on this particular day we went to Miami’s Design District to check how the area was coming along and to eat at Harry’s, our favourite pizza spot. Thankfully, these pictures were taken prior to hoovering my meal, as it doesn’t look nearly as cute covered in sauce. Sidenote: off the shoulder tops…real tough to eat in. 2015-05-18 at 16-01-41 2015-05-18 at 15-59-55 (1) 2015-05-18 at 15-58-51 2015-05-18 at 16-04-45 2015-05-18 at 15-59-45 2015-05-18 at 16-02-45 2015-05-18 at 16-00-12 2015-05-18 at 15-59-15 2015-05-18 at 16-05-49 (1) Constricting as shit

Christian Dior earrings, Ray Ban Clubmasters, Tibi top, vintage Levis shorts, Olympia-Le Tan Cinderella bag, Sydney Evan, David Yurman, and Cartier bracelets and watch, Jacquie Aiche rings,  and Christian Louboutin “Costa Nada” sandals.

Coachella Day 1

2015-04-17 at 18-48-49 Indio, California

How has a week already gone by since the magical day we drove down to the desert to live our first Coachella? Time is kinda flying past me.  After going to coffee at Alfred on Melrose in LA and chatting with 2 of my favourite bloggers, Kristina Bazan and Chriselle Lim we finally left for Indio. It was almost 3 when we arrived and having not eaten all day, we were behind schedule and fucking starving. Peter, went on a heroes mission to In-N-Out, while I anxiously tried to get ready. We had missed a couple of acts we wanted to see already, so I felt rushed to get my ass to the Empire Polo Club. Getting my shit together and trying to look presentable when stressed is literally hell for me. I lose my shit, pull my hair out, and sometimes cry –Not great under pressure of my own doing-. Anyway, consequences of this presented themselves as me piling on too much makeup, hating all the outfits I had packed because they looked bad with the ton of face paint I was wearing, and devouring tons of  In-N-Out in a manner that would have made my cavemen ancestors proud. After that I was bloated as fuck and looked like a shiny Jaja Gabor, so I was in a real shit mood. Didn’t mater. I wasn’t going to miss Alabama Shakes, so I put on a pair of sunnies to hide the mountains of eyeshadow on my eyelids and found the largest thing I had packed to hide the food pregnancy. This is probably the moodiest and sweatiest shoot we have ever done, all while our elderly neighbour from the balcony next door looked on and listened to my curse word soundtrack while painting her toe nails and chain smoking. Oh the glamour. We finally made it to Coachella and well…it was magic. 2015-04-17 at 18-53-32 2015-04-17 at 18-47-30 2015-04-17 at 18-49-53 2015-04-17 at 18-46-54 2015-04-17 at 18-49-39 2015-04-17 at 18-51-26 2015-04-17 at 18-48-54 2015-04-17 at 18-51-59 2015-04-17 at 21-47-10 2015-04-17 at 21-48-06 2015-04-17 at 22-09-46 2015-04-17 at 22-26-00 2015-04-17 at 21-50-22 2015-04-17 at 21-58-26 2015-04-17 at 22-34-39 2015-04-17 at 18-47-51 What to wear after eating 2 In-N-Out Burgers + fries

Rock N Rose crown, Ray Ban Clubmasters and Vintage Cartier Sunglasses, Nasty Gal necklace (similar) and rings (similar), Blue Barcelona dress, Chanel bag, and Chie Mihara sandals.

Mouse Ear Problems

2014-02-22 at 11-10-31 Disney’s Hollywood Studios

Though this Disney trip was planned around the Princess Half Marathon we still had a good couple days of theme parkin’ before the main event. Disney Hollywood Studios has always been my favourite Disney World park, so i’m always giddy when we make it over there. Many people purchase ears on site to wear for the day, but as you can imagine I have gathered quite the collection after all these years, and have started packing them from home and building my outfits around specific pairs. Also I always splurge if a designer I admire decides to go the mouse ears route, so you can imagine my adoration over the pieces created for last years Minnie Mouse Love covers. I am still trying to figure out a way to get my hands on those… Anyway, the denim pair from today’s post are from Barney’s New York Electric Holiday collaboration with Disney, and though they give me a mad headache I still refuse to take them off. Whimsy is pain girls. 2014-02-22 at 13-28-37 2014-02-22 at 11-11-34 2014-02-22 at 11-10-07 2014-02-22 at 11-12-06 2014-02-22 at 11-16-36 2014-02-22 at 11-13-41 2014-02-22 at 13-28-42 (1) 2014-02-22 at 11-12-54 2014-02-22 at 11-10-57 2014-02-22 at 11-14-28 2014-02-22 at 13-27-37 Four ears are the new trendy geeks

Barneys Mouse ears, Ray Ban aviators, J. Crew necklace (similar), Disney rainbow Mickey Mouse chain, Current/Elliott denim shirt, Rich and Skinny shorts, Chanel perfume bottle Iphone case, and special edition New Balance Run Disney Cinderella sneakers.